It was a beautiful let down

Things that I could quite possibly be in love with:

The color purple, my Black and Purple Etnies, Tinkerbell, Sharpie markers, gadgets, Harry Potter, my hair, music, my friends and family, my apartment, my room in my apartment, Green Apple anything, hoop earrings, Hot Topic, spooning, hugs, taking stupid pictures of my friends and me, changing my profile pictures more than most sleep, Mt. Dew, the stars that glow-in-the-dark on my ceiling, My Chemical Romance, my Tinkerbell sheets, Sheetz’s Sausage Egg and Cheese Pretzel Melts with ketchup, fruit punch drinks, Fossil Fuel Ice cream by Ben & Jerry’s, my studded belt, Peanut Butter and Strawberry Jelly Sandwiches, and orchids

Things that I could quite possibly be in love with:

The color purple, my Black and Purple Etnies, Tinkerbell, Sharpie markers, gadgets, Harry Potter, my hair, music, my friends and family, my apartment, my room in my apartment, Green Apple anything, hoop earrings, Hot Topic, spooning, hugs, taking stupid pictures of my friends and me, changing my profile pictures more than most sleep, Mt. Dew, the stars that glow-in-the-dark on my ceiling, My Chemical Romance, my Tinkerbell sheets, Sheetz’s Sausage Egg and Cheese Pretzel Melts with ketchup, fruit punch drinks, Fossil Fuel Ice cream by Ben & Jerry’s, my studded belt, Peanut Butter and Strawberry Jelly Sandwiches, and orchids

I'm Feeling: Pissed off and Tired
Current Noise: Silence for once!

Okay, so I had to wake up today at 6:20 (when I went to bed at 3) to get ready to go work the polls and solicit some Democrat that even if I voted in this election, I wouldn't have voted for her anyways.  It was $50 so what do I care.  Well I called the boy at 10 but he was in the shower so he had to call me back.  We talked for like 6 minutes, big whoop!  I don't know but it's so awkward talking on the phone to him.  It's like neither one of us can find something to say.  Well anyways, I'm getting off track.  I come home and I see my sister's hair.  OMFG!!  She dyed it black.  She came home from school and totally dyed it black like mine.  It's not as dark as mine but now we kinda look the same.  I can't believe she did that.  When I saw her, I yelled for my mom and my mom was like, "Yeah, she's in big trouble."  Apparently, Sammy came home from school and did that without telling my mom first so yeah my mom isn't happy.  I'm freaking furious.  Sammy flipped out when I got the same color shoes as her even though I was still at college during this time.  They weren't even the same shoes they were black like hers.  She has the same freaking hair color as me now!!  Ugh, stupid girl!

~My Not So Happy Ending

I'm sitting on the couch, eating strawberries out of a big bowl and my dad walks in the living room and yells, "Get your FAT FACE outta that bowl!"  I was eating a bowl strawberries not a bowl of cookies.  Hello dumbass, that's fruit which is healthy, not something gluttoning.  I know I'm not skinny and I know I'm overweight but he doesn't need to keep reminding me of it.  I can look in the mirror everyday if I want to remind myself of how overweight I am.  God, I hate when he says stupid shit like that.  Who the hell does that?  God, he makes me so mad.

~My Not So Happy Ending

I'm Feeling: frustrated

For some unknown reason, I love to open my mouth and say things that have major repercussions such as, "I have to watch what I say around you because you are so condescending to me and it makes me feel uncomfortable."  He was in the tech lab just now and I could totally feel the like uneasiness being in here with him.  I decided last night that I was going to send him an email explaining that he doesn't make me uncomfortable but he makes me feel stupid a lot.  I really don't know what his take is on my email but I felt it needed to be said and I knew I couldn't do it face to face or over the phone.  At least I grew a set to finally be able to say anything at all to him!  UGH!

~My Not So Happy Ending

I'm Feeling: frustrated

Stupid girl, say what?  I AM such a stupid stupid girl.  Why can't I just tell him no?  When he groans, "Mmmm arm scratch" and then whines when I don't do it.  Why can't I just say, "No Dascoli, I will not give you a goddamn arm scratch!"  I am not the replacement.  I will not be rebound non-girlfriend.  It will not happen, NO!  I want to play twenty questions with him.  I wanna allow him to ask me any twenty questions that he wants to and I WILL answer every question asked without hesitation and vice versa.    I have no idea what I would ask him but I think I would figure out twenty things to ask.  Time for my fucking lesson now!!  AH!

~My Not So Happy Ending

I'm Feeling: frustrated

You are not the person that I thought you were.  I thought you were a genuinely kind person, who actually cared.  Yeah, thanks for ACTING like you cared.  I didn't know that I had to slut myself up for a guy to like me.  Well if that's what I have to do to get a guy's attention, looks like I'll be alone for the rest of my life.  I know I sit there and say I don't have sex, or oral sex and people look at me cross-eyed but who the hell am I going to do that with?  I don't have a boyfriend, and I don't randomly sleep with guys.  I think if I had a boyfriend who I truly loved things could very well be extremely different.  People told me that's good and I shouldn't change the way that I am but I'm the miss innocent one but looks who's getting all the guys, miss sleazy (that's just a generalization, it's no one in particular).  I never thought that I would have to act a certain way to get your attention like that.  Well guess what I've decided, you are not worth it for me to change my morals and if that's the kind of girl that you want then that's fine by me.  You take your sleazy chick and have fun with that shit because guess what I will not change for you and I WILL NOT be the replacement when it comes to certain things.  Do you not realize that people who are willing to do that kind of shit with you and not date you will turn around and do it with some one else just as easily?  You're not anyone special to them.  I could never do that to some one because that's just not right on any level.  I'm the one who would never cheat on a guy, I would never be unfaithful, and yet, I can't find a guy to date me to save my life because I won't fuck a guy on the first night.  Lovely world we live in, isn't it?

~My Not So Happy Ending